I think all individuals that hold up the line at the register with 324290 items and does not let the person behind with ONE item to cut in front and pay should go to shopping mall hell.

I was at Wallyworld (big surprise) waiting to get some fabric from a roll of material. I noticed that the elderly lady in front of me had seven rolls of fabric and two rolls of ribbon. I was standing there looking pissed trying to give out the annoyed-vibe so bastardlady would let me go in front of her, but that didn't work. Then, I decided to use the forlorn-face thinking that bastardlady's maternal instincts would kick in and would then ask me to go ahead of her, but that was a no-go as well. So instead, I wasted twenty minutes of my life counting from 1 to 100 in efforts soothe my rising temper.

A Walmart should be built just for me. No one would be allowed to enter Natalie's Walmart unless they welcomed me with open arms to cut them in line at the registers, customer service desk, photoshop, and the fabric center.

Do you get your oil changed at Jiffy Lube? I swear, everytime I go there to get my car fixed, I'm getting screwed from behind with my hands tied behind my back. They could be making up car parts, telling me that my carboration module needs repair and I would have to say, "Fine, fix it," because I don't enough about motor vehicles to debate with the attendants. I think I would have to add a mechanic to my list of potential boyfriends. When I start dating a car guy, I will no longer have to pay $62.99 for an uptake engine cleaning my asshole service.

I get really bitter watching Oprah when she gives out gifts to her audience, because they don't deserve such fine presents. I should be the only one recieving the designer clothes or expensive electronic gadgets. Damn Oprah and her mult-million dollar life.

You know what really sucks? When you write a long funny blog and attempt to upload it onto the web, but then Blogger's server dies on you.

As I head to the vending machine, I fear today will be the fateful day that my munchie will not fall from the metal springs, but remain a prisoner in the machine world. I imagine my world as a stark, cold, and scary place without my mid-morning energy booster. With each drop of a coin, I become more anxious that my hard earn money will be stolen and my nutritional supplement will be left with all the other captives . After pushing the code for my peanuts, I hold my breath as I watch the springs turn and turn, nudging my beloved snack to the edge of the slot. To my relief, as my goody falls to the bottom, the weight of the world is lifted off my shoulders. I fill with glee when I hear the soft thump because it is the ritualistic cue to put my hands through the aperture and grab my long-awaited salty roasted legumes. A big smile spreads upon my face as I walk back to my office, open bag in hand, tossing one peanut at a time into my mouth. Another trip to the vending machine ends in success.

Until next time.

I don't even know what to do with myself. I've been away from work for so long, that I can't remember the last thing I was doing before I left. Until my creative juices start pumping, I will leave you with this thought: AV equipment + VHS videos + procrastination = DVDs

Tomorrow shall prove to be one horrible day. I have been away from work for eleven glorious days, but this free ride has got to end sometime and that sometime is tomorrow.

Kill me now.