Friday, October 15
Vacay
I need a vacation. doing therapy is intense. Is it weird that I'm about to turn thirty and I blast hip/hop and techno music out of my ricer?
Wednesday, October 13
Wednesdays Hump Days
Wednesdays are supposed to be good sail-on-through-the-day day. The next three days are going to be hellish and I am not happy.
Wednesday, June 23
I can be a hot librarian
I'm at the library, in the branch in the city so that I can enjoy the clean smell of oxygen - not dirtiness and urine. See, I'm letting go of my elitist ways. So, at said library, I think there is a mildly attractive older married man sitting diagonal from me, but I cannot tell because, a) he is wearing a hat and b ) I have only made side glances at him.
After a few months of soul searching, I learned that I like to live in fantasy land and everyone is allowed to join. If a person's image, behavior, or words distorts this fantasy, I eject rays of hate at him/her. Natalie Fantasy must persist, hence my refusals to engage in conversation with green pants guy or developing a romantic and intimate relationship with a male partner. Every fantasy I have, living alone, living with roommates, getting a dog, being a psychologist, moving to California has been speckled with horrors of reality. I'm so over it.
Keep me in fantasy. It feels a whole lot warmer and fuzzy here. Oh, but lonely too.
After a few months of soul searching, I learned that I like to live in fantasy land and everyone is allowed to join. If a person's image, behavior, or words distorts this fantasy, I eject rays of hate at him/her. Natalie Fantasy must persist, hence my refusals to engage in conversation with green pants guy or developing a romantic and intimate relationship with a male partner. Every fantasy I have, living alone, living with roommates, getting a dog, being a psychologist, moving to California has been speckled with horrors of reality. I'm so over it.
Keep me in fantasy. It feels a whole lot warmer and fuzzy here. Oh, but lonely too.
Thursday, March 4
green shorts guy
he's switching it up! he wore black shorts yesterday and a pasty gray shirt. i walked by him and didn't even realize it. he is mighty tall when i get brave enough to rub elbows with him. i even think he's cut his hair, again!
i will try to post a pic of him soon. wow. i have become THAT guy. sneaking pics of attractive people at the gym.
i think he has insecurities about his legs. most white men have chicken leg syndrome. he does the squat press like 80% of the time when I'm checking him out, which is 95% of how i spend my time there.
also, when he's not there, i imagine that he is so i can work out better. when he is there, i get so nervous that i have to imagine that he's NOT there. it's all sorts of stupid thinking.
i will try to post a pic of him soon. wow. i have become THAT guy. sneaking pics of attractive people at the gym.
i think he has insecurities about his legs. most white men have chicken leg syndrome. he does the squat press like 80% of the time when I'm checking him out, which is 95% of how i spend my time there.
also, when he's not there, i imagine that he is so i can work out better. when he is there, i get so nervous that i have to imagine that he's NOT there. it's all sorts of stupid thinking.
the schedule
my day is separated by eating times.
wake up for breakfast, do work until lunch, work until gym, so i can eat after the gym. food is the main goal of the day.
i feel like that is a lame way to live.
wake up for breakfast, do work until lunch, work until gym, so i can eat after the gym. food is the main goal of the day.
i feel like that is a lame way to live.
Sunday, February 28
Tuesday, February 23
The switch up
Green shorts guy currently wearing gray shorts and a green shirt. I should dip myself in green paint and smother my body all over him.
Sunday, February 21
Friday, February 19
mom loves techno
i left a voicemail for my mom today and closed the message with, "TTYL!" I had to backtrack and say, "Oh, I mean talk to you later, Mom."
Monday, February 15
you my boyfriend
At 2am, I adopted a dog, joined foursquare, acquired a wifi locator, and started a game of epicpets. Iphone is my new boyfriend. He keeps me company when I wake up from an intense dream about Avator and I haven't even seen the movie. The dream was about blue people humping each other in a faraway land.
Saturday, February 13
PA announcement
i am queen of passive-aggressive. i hate to love slamming doors when i'm cranky. ugh. then i feel bad. it's all sorts of stupid.
Monday, February 8
thank you
for someone to appreciate something and acknowledge you, he/she would have to care about it in the first place
case: keeping bathroom clean and wiping down sink; taking out garbage, re-filling household items; buying air freshener, dusting, vacuuming. if the other person didn't care about it, he/she probably wont notice and/or say thank you.
lesson: set expectations low, that way, you never get disappointed.
case: keeping bathroom clean and wiping down sink; taking out garbage, re-filling household items; buying air freshener, dusting, vacuuming. if the other person didn't care about it, he/she probably wont notice and/or say thank you.
lesson: set expectations low, that way, you never get disappointed.
Saturday, February 6
sleeping beauty
today was the first day i woke up later than anyone in my house. at 9am, i feel like the day is wasted
work it!
I had the most wonderful experience at the gym today. As a proud Chinese-American woman, I take it upon myself to befriend other Asians, especially those who work as cleaning personnel at my local gymnasiums.
Today, Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man and I chatted for a few by the water fountain. He’s a nice skinny man who keeps the gym pristine and sterile. I said hi and asked him how his day was, just like i do with the all the Chinese cleaning help.
I was happily riding the stationary bike, listening to some Cobra Starship, Good Girls Gone Bad, and mind-sexing a hot guy wearing green shorts (not green shorts guy, but another guy wearing green shorts. I sense a theme, but I digress). Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man walked up to me and noticed my profuse sweating and asked he could open the window behind me. “Great! Of course! Thank you! Thank you so much!” I exclaimed in Cantonese.
Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man opened the window, turned back to me and eloquently said in Cantonese, “You know, you are working out your legs as you ride that bike. You should work on your stomach. If you lost weight in your stomach area, you would be prettier. You will look better overall if you exercised your stomach area and lost some weight there. Stop riding the bike. Don’t you want to look better?”
Apparently, Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man had a death wish. I could not reply appropriately with, “Shut the fuck up you stupid bastard,” because my grandmother never taught me such useful and practical statements. Instead, I opted to look away and ignore him. Not only was I fuming and wanting to cry, I had another 20 minutes on the bike and 45 minutes of leg and back exercises to complete. Thus, in total, I had a remaining 65 minutes to admire the reflection of, what was clearly indicated by Mr. Cleaning Man, my awesome stomach area in the wall-to-wall and wall-to-ceiling mirrors.
After the cardio portion of my workout, I called my mother, father, and aunt to get a translation to tell off Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man. My mother told me to take the high road and ignore him. I disregarded that advice. My aunt gave me the translation of, “You are a terrible man” and my dad, with my suggestion, gave me, “What you just said was very rude. You cannot say something like that to someone.” After a non-enjoyable workout and shower, I cornered him in the towel room and told him what was what, but I was left unsatisfied. Stickin’ it to an old skinny Chinese man with no mal-intentions (and not to mention, the ability to appease my OCD for sterility) did nothing to regain my dignity and self-esteem at pre-advice-incident levels.
Thank you, Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man for knocking me down the ladder I have been climbing upon for the past nine years. Perhaps this attempt to abandon my eating disorder and body image problems was a silly idea. Maybe we can work on our abs together and become two damn good-looking Chinese people at the local gymnasium.
Today, Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man and I chatted for a few by the water fountain. He’s a nice skinny man who keeps the gym pristine and sterile. I said hi and asked him how his day was, just like i do with the all the Chinese cleaning help.
I was happily riding the stationary bike, listening to some Cobra Starship, Good Girls Gone Bad, and mind-sexing a hot guy wearing green shorts (not green shorts guy, but another guy wearing green shorts. I sense a theme, but I digress). Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man walked up to me and noticed my profuse sweating and asked he could open the window behind me. “Great! Of course! Thank you! Thank you so much!” I exclaimed in Cantonese.
Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man opened the window, turned back to me and eloquently said in Cantonese, “You know, you are working out your legs as you ride that bike. You should work on your stomach. If you lost weight in your stomach area, you would be prettier. You will look better overall if you exercised your stomach area and lost some weight there. Stop riding the bike. Don’t you want to look better?”
Apparently, Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man had a death wish. I could not reply appropriately with, “Shut the fuck up you stupid bastard,” because my grandmother never taught me such useful and practical statements. Instead, I opted to look away and ignore him. Not only was I fuming and wanting to cry, I had another 20 minutes on the bike and 45 minutes of leg and back exercises to complete. Thus, in total, I had a remaining 65 minutes to admire the reflection of, what was clearly indicated by Mr. Cleaning Man, my awesome stomach area in the wall-to-wall and wall-to-ceiling mirrors.
After the cardio portion of my workout, I called my mother, father, and aunt to get a translation to tell off Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man. My mother told me to take the high road and ignore him. I disregarded that advice. My aunt gave me the translation of, “You are a terrible man” and my dad, with my suggestion, gave me, “What you just said was very rude. You cannot say something like that to someone.” After a non-enjoyable workout and shower, I cornered him in the towel room and told him what was what, but I was left unsatisfied. Stickin’ it to an old skinny Chinese man with no mal-intentions (and not to mention, the ability to appease my OCD for sterility) did nothing to regain my dignity and self-esteem at pre-advice-incident levels.
Thank you, Mr. Chinese Cleaning Man for knocking me down the ladder I have been climbing upon for the past nine years. Perhaps this attempt to abandon my eating disorder and body image problems was a silly idea. Maybe we can work on our abs together and become two damn good-looking Chinese people at the local gymnasium.
Friday, February 5
do not disturb
i like to post signs on my door when i'm 1. doing work, 2. sleeping, or 3. ignoring people and want to be passive aggressive about it.
the landlord, a curmudgeon, unfortunately, is stopping by in a few to appraise the building. i hate lawyers and this landlord is a lawyer. his personality nothing to decrease the generalized hatred I have for those who identify themselves as that unsavory profession.
to avoid speaking to or looking at the appraiser and landlord, i posted several notes on the door. the current note on the office door is "dissertation in progress." the second post-it, right below the aforementioned note, states "do not disturb. knock if necessary." i would like to post a third note that says "douchebags not allowed."
tonight, i plan to continue this workaholic rage, however, my godforsaken roommate purchased a used ping pong table that conveniently only fits in the bedroom foyer. this roommate, we shall call him jew, likes to have friends over every day of the week (and his girlfriend who i dislike out of envy) and disturb the sacred silence of our now cannabis-soaked house. to get to the point, i plan to post a huge sign using a thick black magic marker on a 8x11 white print paper with the following: "dissertation in progress. this is not a frat house. take the party outside or i will crush the ping pong ball with my giant foot or pelt you in the face with one."
the landlord, a curmudgeon, unfortunately, is stopping by in a few to appraise the building. i hate lawyers and this landlord is a lawyer. his personality nothing to decrease the generalized hatred I have for those who identify themselves as that unsavory profession.
to avoid speaking to or looking at the appraiser and landlord, i posted several notes on the door. the current note on the office door is "dissertation in progress." the second post-it, right below the aforementioned note, states "do not disturb. knock if necessary." i would like to post a third note that says "douchebags not allowed."
tonight, i plan to continue this workaholic rage, however, my godforsaken roommate purchased a used ping pong table that conveniently only fits in the bedroom foyer. this roommate, we shall call him jew, likes to have friends over every day of the week (and his girlfriend who i dislike out of envy) and disturb the sacred silence of our now cannabis-soaked house. to get to the point, i plan to post a huge sign using a thick black magic marker on a 8x11 white print paper with the following: "dissertation in progress. this is not a frat house. take the party outside or i will crush the ping pong ball with my giant foot or pelt you in the face with one."
Thursday, February 4
Green with envy
Omg. He is wearing a different shade of green shorts. I think his fav color is green!!! I drive a green car!
- Posted using my digital mini-child
Wednesday, February 3
western front
i realize it's been quiet on the blogging front. i refuse and am paranoid about bloggin at the VA and at the university. I don't want them tracking my internet whereabouts. for the past couple of days, the same several thoughts have been swirling around in my head and i've been itching to share them..if only i could recall those stories...
without easy access to blogger, i email my thoughts to some people. one recent incident involved feeling like an important official professional old metro from picking up dry cleaning. the time has finally come where i, student for life, has engaged in the following series of behaviors: commuting one hour back to the city, half-assly stopping at cross-streets, cutting in front of several cars to park in the 10 minute spot in front of the cleaners, leaving the car on, handing the dry cleaning ticket to, of course, a chinese woman, paying for the cleaned suit, running back to the car hanging it on the the hangy thing in the back seat, and driving off to the gym. i am important because i pick up dry cleaning in such a self-important manner.
i am smitten with this guy at the gym. he looks like an ex-college baseball player, apparent by his physical attributes: broad shoulders, large traps, and a firm bubbly butt (i'm not butt girl, but i believe others would appreciate the visual). most often, he works out wearing green shorts and a gray shirt. additionally, he may or may not have attended the university of michigan, as noted by his collegiate sportswear (facebook stalking in T minus 20 hours).
to get to the point, today, after he sat down next to me to stretch, and after five minutes of me staring at the tv to avoid squirming and snickering like a little school girl, i thought of the most ingenious plan. i will buy a pair of green booty shorts and wear them to the gym so me and green shorts guy can match. i already wear a gray tank top and with his gray shirt, we would look like an adorable non-couple who works out not-together. moreover, i will use this clever and co-op maneuver to tap into his unconscious and slowly reel him into falling in love with me or at least ask me out for a drink so we can do the dirty.
without easy access to blogger, i email my thoughts to some people. one recent incident involved feeling like an important official professional old metro from picking up dry cleaning. the time has finally come where i, student for life, has engaged in the following series of behaviors: commuting one hour back to the city, half-assly stopping at cross-streets, cutting in front of several cars to park in the 10 minute spot in front of the cleaners, leaving the car on, handing the dry cleaning ticket to, of course, a chinese woman, paying for the cleaned suit, running back to the car hanging it on the the hangy thing in the back seat, and driving off to the gym. i am important because i pick up dry cleaning in such a self-important manner.
i am smitten with this guy at the gym. he looks like an ex-college baseball player, apparent by his physical attributes: broad shoulders, large traps, and a firm bubbly butt (i'm not butt girl, but i believe others would appreciate the visual). most often, he works out wearing green shorts and a gray shirt. additionally, he may or may not have attended the university of michigan, as noted by his collegiate sportswear (facebook stalking in T minus 20 hours).
to get to the point, today, after he sat down next to me to stretch, and after five minutes of me staring at the tv to avoid squirming and snickering like a little school girl, i thought of the most ingenious plan. i will buy a pair of green booty shorts and wear them to the gym so me and green shorts guy can match. i already wear a gray tank top and with his gray shirt, we would look like an adorable non-couple who works out not-together. moreover, i will use this clever and co-op maneuver to tap into his unconscious and slowly reel him into falling in love with me or at least ask me out for a drink so we can do the dirty.
Sunday, January 31
summations
i hate communicating and negotiating. im going to live in a cave.
never have two alpha males living in the same house.
never get married.
never have two alpha males living in the same house.
never get married.
Friday, January 29
butt hurt
i get all butt hurt when someone texts me and i text back and then i dont get a reply for hours or days. let me know if you're goin to text and dash (a take of dine and dash) because i get pissy. I am a sensitive girl who is insecure and needy.
Thursday, January 28
freaking hot
why on earth would anyone want it 75 freaking degrees in the library? I CAN'T THINK when my face is turning red and I'm about to sweat. GROSS! HOT WEATHER IS GROSS!!!! Anything over 69 is hot. I prefer a perfect 68 degrees, really.
Wednesday, January 27
"It's about the aliens," Slater from D&C; or Going Solo
through the many years of grad school, i have lived in a variety of situations and you know what? challenging myself to live with others or experience diverse living environments is completely stupid.
i am going back to living by myself and swearing off monogamy. i feel like the old nat is back (as dissertation is coming along). the less i feel dependent and lost, the more i appreciated my old life and my old values. there was/is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone, live alone, and not like men in committed relationships.
living with boys is sooooooooo lame!!! however, living with psycho beasts is worst and coked out gays is pretty bad. so all in all, me, being the OCD, anal retentive, clean-freakazoid, organized obsessed person, living by myself is a-okay.
and remember the days when I DID NOT WANT A BOYFRIEND OR EVER GET SETTLED DOWN?!?!? I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER, but it's all coming back to me, like that Celine Dion song.
Seriously, i want to taste freedom again.
furthermore, i could have cared less about the boys at the gym today. i may be hormonal and basically hating every human that has a weenis. but, it's safe to assume that free-of-all-ties-nat is getting stronger. thank god, because this whiny i want a family ish is getting REAL old. it feels out of place and alien. ive been trying out this "i want a family thing" for three years and nothing has felt right.
dude. ima be like cameron diaz, flyin solo and playin around.
i am going back to living by myself and swearing off monogamy. i feel like the old nat is back (as dissertation is coming along). the less i feel dependent and lost, the more i appreciated my old life and my old values. there was/is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone, live alone, and not like men in committed relationships.
living with boys is sooooooooo lame!!! however, living with psycho beasts is worst and coked out gays is pretty bad. so all in all, me, being the OCD, anal retentive, clean-freakazoid, organized obsessed person, living by myself is a-okay.
and remember the days when I DID NOT WANT A BOYFRIEND OR EVER GET SETTLED DOWN?!?!? I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER, but it's all coming back to me, like that Celine Dion song.
Seriously, i want to taste freedom again.
furthermore, i could have cared less about the boys at the gym today. i may be hormonal and basically hating every human that has a weenis. but, it's safe to assume that free-of-all-ties-nat is getting stronger. thank god, because this whiny i want a family ish is getting REAL old. it feels out of place and alien. ive been trying out this "i want a family thing" for three years and nothing has felt right.
dude. ima be like cameron diaz, flyin solo and playin around.
Tuesday, January 26
cranky
ima bitch slap people and i am very irritable.
noise, people talking, specifically roommates, make me want to strangle them. i dont want to hear people breathing or walking let alone hearing the doorbell go off with guests. CAN'T PEOPLE JUST SPEND TIME BY THEMSELVES? D#$)(@*$#@??!?!?! CODEPENDENT
ASSHOLES.
I AM NEVER HAVING A FAMILY. I DONT LIKE NOISE, I DONT LIKE GUESTS, I DONT LIKE SURPRISES. I DONT LIKE MESS. I DONT LIKE BOYS WHO SMELL BAD. i dont like people running around screaming or yelling or doors shutting. i dont want friends over all the time or feeding hungry teenagers. or video games or tv. or unhealthy food. or hair everywhere and grime. I AM STAYING SINGLE. THAT IS ALL.
wow. anyway, i had to get that out.
oh theres more. i have to hold myself back ALL THE TIME and not shout out, "YOU AGAIN?" jebus. i want to smack someone. i wonder what the source of this hate and resentment and lack of patience and kindness. Lack of sleep? Spending a lot of money on health appointments? Dissertation? ........ Vikings losing?
noise, people talking, specifically roommates, make me want to strangle them. i dont want to hear people breathing or walking let alone hearing the doorbell go off with guests. CAN'T PEOPLE JUST SPEND TIME BY THEMSELVES? D#$)(@*$#@??!?!?! CODEPENDENT
ASSHOLES.
I AM NEVER HAVING A FAMILY. I DONT LIKE NOISE, I DONT LIKE GUESTS, I DONT LIKE SURPRISES. I DONT LIKE MESS. I DONT LIKE BOYS WHO SMELL BAD. i dont like people running around screaming or yelling or doors shutting. i dont want friends over all the time or feeding hungry teenagers. or video games or tv. or unhealthy food. or hair everywhere and grime. I AM STAYING SINGLE. THAT IS ALL.
wow. anyway, i had to get that out.
oh theres more. i have to hold myself back ALL THE TIME and not shout out, "YOU AGAIN?" jebus. i want to smack someone. i wonder what the source of this hate and resentment and lack of patience and kindness. Lack of sleep? Spending a lot of money on health appointments? Dissertation? ........ Vikings losing?
Bitch, I'm Asian.
As much as I bitch about having dissertation and a four hour commute and all the other random stuff I do, I think I actually enjoy it. It's like bitching is part of my nature, partially explained by my culture/ethnicity.
I would be depressed and mopey if I didn't have anything to do. There is only so much Jersey Shore and Modern Family one can watch before wandering what life is about and feeling like a non-entity in the world.
Godspeed. Must read more articles.
I would be depressed and mopey if I didn't have anything to do. There is only so much Jersey Shore and Modern Family one can watch before wandering what life is about and feeling like a non-entity in the world.
Godspeed. Must read more articles.
Monday, January 25
today
I was so tired, i fell asleep on the train, to and fro work. I have never been unconscious on a public transportation system until today. I set my alarm to make sure I woke up before my stop.
On the bus, a crazy man kept yelling at the passengers, "Don't step on my shoes. If you do you're going to pay for it. I'm serious. They are new!" He repeated these sentences more than fifteen times. I wanted to punch him in the face. Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!
On the bus, a crazy man kept yelling at the passengers, "Don't step on my shoes. If you do you're going to pay for it. I'm serious. They are new!" He repeated these sentences more than fifteen times. I wanted to punch him in the face. Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, January 23
Thursday, January 21
texting in the same apt
texting conversation between mex and i
mex: "are my cliff bars still around!"
me: "that is like asking a lion if there are sheep around, safe and uneaten. NO!"
mex: "are my cliff bars still around!"
me: "that is like asking a lion if there are sheep around, safe and uneaten. NO!"
my honor
spice rack defended my honor tonight.
mexican and i were crackin jokes about each other and he hit below the belt by saying that "there are cobwebs in me because [i] don't have any sex" and that "there are crickets in [my] room."
spice rack told mexican to shut up and to stop making fun of me. i was surprised by this act of defense. i don't know how i feel about spice rack anymore.
mexican is a jerk. he talks about everyone's sex life in the house, whether they have it or not. he is just a dirty guy.
mexican and i were crackin jokes about each other and he hit below the belt by saying that "there are cobwebs in me because [i] don't have any sex" and that "there are crickets in [my] room."
spice rack told mexican to shut up and to stop making fun of me. i was surprised by this act of defense. i don't know how i feel about spice rack anymore.
mexican is a jerk. he talks about everyone's sex life in the house, whether they have it or not. he is just a dirty guy.
like splenda
brett favre is not an appropriate substitution for a love interest. he is not a potential boyfriend nor is he a tangible person. all feelings for unnamed yet identified desired male shan't be placed on unavailable celebrity slash athletic figure.
hence forth, thou must remove images of brett favre from personal devices so the id (as in superego, ego) can initiate first phase of disassociating thoughts and feelings of actual-boyfriendness from said athlete.
hence forth, thou must remove images of brett favre from personal devices so the id (as in superego, ego) can initiate first phase of disassociating thoughts and feelings of actual-boyfriendness from said athlete.
friends know best
direct email from my friend/colleague:
"...As for the poop... its stress... eat less fiber girl"
"...As for the poop... its stress... eat less fiber girl"
nausea
i think this new found nausea is caused by anticipation and nervousness about these interviews. while i'm doing the interviews, i'm not nervous, but the hours/days before them, i am racked with nerves. i want to throw up and poo.
youface
i'm gettin real sick of fb. it's turning into myspace. we need another social network for elitists.
Tuesday, January 19
missed you
hi blog. i've missed you. it's been a long time. i think part of my soul had an empty hole and the hole was once filled with you. i'm glad you're here again.
territorial: ET phone home
why am i so territorial? when i feel like someone uses more than their fair share of something (e.g., space, air, water, light), i have to make my presence known.
for example, when i think someone uses the bathroom too much, i go in there to "brush my teeth." or when i think someone is bogarting the kitchen, i go in there and "make coffee." if someone uses the washer/dryer excessively, i do a load of laundry or two. finally, when someone uses the couch or tv endlessly, i "have to catch Bones or Jersey Shore."
I also don't want anyone to have the house to themselves too much so I come home and make myself known. I stomp up the stairs, huff and puff and sigh if i smell pot, and slam doors when there are too many friends about.
I am extra-territorial, not to be confused with extra-terrestrial.
for example, when i think someone uses the bathroom too much, i go in there to "brush my teeth." or when i think someone is bogarting the kitchen, i go in there and "make coffee." if someone uses the washer/dryer excessively, i do a load of laundry or two. finally, when someone uses the couch or tv endlessly, i "have to catch Bones or Jersey Shore."
I also don't want anyone to have the house to themselves too much so I come home and make myself known. I stomp up the stairs, huff and puff and sigh if i smell pot, and slam doors when there are too many friends about.
I am extra-territorial, not to be confused with extra-terrestrial.
tactics
To prevent roommate from peeing on the seat, I have taken to putting the toilet lid down so he is forced to reach below and lift something before peeing. It's like a twofer. He might as well lift both the seat and the lid prior to urinating like a drunkard.
Ode to Iphone
Seeing that I had an afternoon meeting with my professor today, I went to the gym early. I packed a lunch and a dinner as I planned to eat at school, however, I got too hungry after the gym and sat in my car and ate it.
I was running late in my mental schedule, but wanted to check my email before heading to the peninsula, and boy am I glad I did that. My prof emailed me saying he had a flu and needed to reschedule. I would have been PISSED driving an hour and fifteen minutes to school to find out he wasn't there.
Iphone, what was life like before your arrival? You are the baby I always dreamed of having. You complete me.
I was running late in my mental schedule, but wanted to check my email before heading to the peninsula, and boy am I glad I did that. My prof emailed me saying he had a flu and needed to reschedule. I would have been PISSED driving an hour and fifteen minutes to school to find out he wasn't there.
Iphone, what was life like before your arrival? You are the baby I always dreamed of having. You complete me.
mean people
I am upset that my friend is ignoring me because she knows i'm moving. this day was coming, i know it. she disengages and gets upset and avoids. i'm trying to keep close to her and talk to her, but i just get the brush-off. fun. fun.
Monday, January 18
grind my gears, edition 2: roommates
my roommate is gross, ive nicknamed him, spice rack. he pees on the seat because he is lazy. he leaves grocery bags on the kitchen floor as 'recycling bags' because he is too lazy to put them away. he is too lazy to help around the house or do the dishes right away. the good points about him are he doesn't make a lot of noise or a huge amount of mess. plus he doesn't smoke or have friends over who hog up the tv/house/shower.
other roommate, pothead, smokes pot all day and has friends over all the time and plays video games and hogs the tv/couch. his girlfriend is always over here and he has snack foods that taunt me. i have concluded that he is younger than us and still loves to party and do stupid stuff. however, he has his good points too which are he cleans up after himself, he is conscientious about vacuuming, putting the toilet seat down and organizing/cleaning the living area. he also buys tp when we're out and picks up household items that are needed.
other roommate, nicknamed mexican, has occasional friends over, completely disregards washing dishes and doesn't remember that he's left food out or trash everywhere. on a good note, he's pretty laidback and generous. he has a fun girlfriend and he doesn't take up much space or time in the house. plus he doesn't smoke a lot or make a raucous.
what i have learned and am learning about this experience is THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT PERSON!!!
okay, i will do me now. Me, known as asian, i never go out so i'm always home, i take up a lot of kitchen space and i bitch a lot about cleanliness. on a good note, i keep the place clean, i smell good, i share food, i don't smoke or make a lot of noise, and i dont have friends over and i dont give a shit about the tv so I'm never in the living room.
addendum (01/21/10):
i noticed that i use many negative words like, 'don't.' ima do a positive spin on these descriptions. for spice rack, instead of "the good points about him are he doesn't make a lot of noise or a huge amount of mess. plus he doesn't smoke or have friends over who hog up the tv/house/shower", i will revise with: "the good points about him are: he is quiet, contains his mess, he is smoke-free, spends his time alone and mainly in his room, thus leaving much of the common area free for use."
for mexican, i will revise "he has a fun girlfriend and he doesn't take up much space or time in the house. plus he doesn't smoke a lot or make a raucous" to "he has a fun girlfriend, he is very social and spends his time out of the house, he is generally smoke-free and pretty quiet while watching tv with friends. his friends are pretty chill as well."
for me, i will revise "i don't smoke or make a lot of noise, and i dont have friends over and i dont give a shit about the tv so I'm never in the living room" to "i am smoke-free, i am very quiet, i am spend my time alone, i occupy myself with reading and scholastic activities leaving the tv and common area free for use."
there. positive thinking and writing starts with one blog at a time.
other roommate, pothead, smokes pot all day and has friends over all the time and plays video games and hogs the tv/couch. his girlfriend is always over here and he has snack foods that taunt me. i have concluded that he is younger than us and still loves to party and do stupid stuff. however, he has his good points too which are he cleans up after himself, he is conscientious about vacuuming, putting the toilet seat down and organizing/cleaning the living area. he also buys tp when we're out and picks up household items that are needed.
other roommate, nicknamed mexican, has occasional friends over, completely disregards washing dishes and doesn't remember that he's left food out or trash everywhere. on a good note, he's pretty laidback and generous. he has a fun girlfriend and he doesn't take up much space or time in the house. plus he doesn't smoke a lot or make a raucous.
what i have learned and am learning about this experience is THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT PERSON!!!
okay, i will do me now. Me, known as asian, i never go out so i'm always home, i take up a lot of kitchen space and i bitch a lot about cleanliness. on a good note, i keep the place clean, i smell good, i share food, i don't smoke or make a lot of noise, and i dont have friends over and i dont give a shit about the tv so I'm never in the living room.
addendum (01/21/10):
i noticed that i use many negative words like, 'don't.' ima do a positive spin on these descriptions. for spice rack, instead of "the good points about him are he doesn't make a lot of noise or a huge amount of mess. plus he doesn't smoke or have friends over who hog up the tv/house/shower", i will revise with: "the good points about him are: he is quiet, contains his mess, he is smoke-free, spends his time alone and mainly in his room, thus leaving much of the common area free for use."
for mexican, i will revise "he has a fun girlfriend and he doesn't take up much space or time in the house. plus he doesn't smoke a lot or make a raucous" to "he has a fun girlfriend, he is very social and spends his time out of the house, he is generally smoke-free and pretty quiet while watching tv with friends. his friends are pretty chill as well."
for me, i will revise "i don't smoke or make a lot of noise, and i dont have friends over and i dont give a shit about the tv so I'm never in the living room" to "i am smoke-free, i am very quiet, i am spend my time alone, i occupy myself with reading and scholastic activities leaving the tv and common area free for use."
there. positive thinking and writing starts with one blog at a time.
sick (yearly liver disease)
I'm sick from the traveling and stress. My eyes burn and my head is clogged. I slept for about 14 hours yesterday and I did not get out of bed for anything productive but to eat. I didn't even take a shower or work out. Houston, we have a problem.
I'm meeting my professor tomorrow to go over statistical analysis and I feel like I've given up on life.
Addendum:
Hold on a minute, I think this is the yearly liver disease. Since winter/spring of 1997, I have been inflicted by a yearly cold/influenza thing. I remember, in 1997, I had just broken up or been abandoned by my first boyfriend, Ben. He left me heartbroken andI couldn't eat, sleep, or form coherent logical sentences. I could only think about revenge and retribution.
At this illness's inception, I went to the doctor and he informed me that my liver enzymes were over the roof and that I may have a liver problem. A week or two later I was fine. However, since then, every January slash February, I get sick out of the blue and can't function for about a week or two.
Give me another week and I shall be right as rain.
I'm meeting my professor tomorrow to go over statistical analysis and I feel like I've given up on life.
Addendum:
Hold on a minute, I think this is the yearly liver disease. Since winter/spring of 1997, I have been inflicted by a yearly cold/influenza thing. I remember, in 1997, I had just broken up or been abandoned by my first boyfriend, Ben. He left me heartbroken andI couldn't eat, sleep, or form coherent logical sentences. I could only think about revenge and retribution.
At this illness's inception, I went to the doctor and he informed me that my liver enzymes were over the roof and that I may have a liver problem. A week or two later I was fine. However, since then, every January slash February, I get sick out of the blue and can't function for about a week or two.
Give me another week and I shall be right as rain.
Saturday, January 16
Jersey Shore
The things I love about Jersey Shore.
1. The girls have meat on their bones and they rock it with pride.
2. Long black hair, dark eyes, and dark skin are back.
3. The guys know how to cook, shower, workout, use gel, and have the decency to pray before eating.
4. They pronounce water like God intended: WARTER
5. They girls are mad ghetto with their dark makeup and hoochie heels. It really reminds me of the undergraduate years.
6. The girls wear bootie-shorts like I do. I run around this apartment like it's my own Jersey Shore house.
7. GTL, baby.
8. The guy's bodies ARE hot.
9. I used to hang out at Seaside Heights as a kid. The arcade and its slot machines was like a second home. Thanks, Dad, for keeping me classy.
1. The girls have meat on their bones and they rock it with pride.
2. Long black hair, dark eyes, and dark skin are back.
3. The guys know how to cook, shower, workout, use gel, and have the decency to pray before eating.
4. They pronounce water like God intended: WARTER
5. They girls are mad ghetto with their dark makeup and hoochie heels. It really reminds me of the undergraduate years.
6. The girls wear bootie-shorts like I do. I run around this apartment like it's my own Jersey Shore house.
7. GTL, baby.
8. The guy's bodies ARE hot.
9. I used to hang out at Seaside Heights as a kid. The arcade and its slot machines was like a second home. Thanks, Dad, for keeping me classy.
Driving in SF
Please watch out for bicyclists, homeless people, pedestrians, and other vehicles. In SF, driving is a primary executive functioning task as one has to avert eyes, maintain focus, and look for 5 different moving objects all the while operating a 3 ton machinery.
Furthermore, parallel streets do not exist in the golden city. You will end up in the ghetto if you think you're driving within a grid system. Good luck, tourists, as you figure out the nooks and crannies.
Furthermore, parallel streets do not exist in the golden city. You will end up in the ghetto if you think you're driving within a grid system. Good luck, tourists, as you figure out the nooks and crannies.
Grinds my gears
You know what really grinds my gears? Urine on the toilet seat, courtesy of male roommates. I have learned to live with them and this, essentially, is a fraternity. I always wanted to be a part of a frat without the title of hoochie-mamma or slut. Thanks to the many months living in this apartment, I have reached my goal. Here, in my newest digs, all the bros think I'm a huge prude with no social life; quite the 180 from the UNC days.
Am I even using these semi-colons correctly?
Am I even using these semi-colons correctly?
Friday, January 15
Crunch: San Francisco
I plan to review all the gyms I have experienced in this great country, starting with San Francisco. Well, I started with So-Cal, but you get my drift. Again, I use a five-star rating system.
Crunch, Polk Street***:
PROS:
-built within an old theater building, cool interior
-cool spin room, large group/class area
-lots of girlie free weights to use
-no smell=good smell, towel service
-guys are within an attractive age range (25-35), rough around the edges, and totally hot
-downstairs bathroom with easy access
-friendly staff, talkative
CONS:
-small abs area, not enough lifting space
-small locker area, like cramp style
-dark, dim, no music
-distracting movie screen with movies playing
-old lifting equipment
-cardio machines facing movie screen
Crunch, Union Street ***
PROS
-treadmills facing lifting area, eye candy
-clean, great lighting
-towel service, quiet unpretentious people, no massive meatheads
-updated machines
-good yoga classes
-convenient area with better parking
-friendly front desk staff, smoothie shop
CONS
-small locker area, small cardio area
-gets motherfing hot in the summer bc of the sunlight
-douchy trainer
-no areas to really do any free weights or plyometrics
-spin room gets hot as a mo
Crunch, Chestnut****
PROS:
-recently renovated, new machines, better layout and space for plyos, etc
-non-claustrophobic
-decent looking guys
-my favorite sales manager is there
-towel service, lots of cardio machines
-fairly clean
-friendly staff
CONS:
-small locker room
-cardio machines facing tvs and large mirrors
-parking is harder
-no yoga that I know of
Crunch, Montgomery***
PROS:
-huge huge weight lifting area, lots of space to roam
-convenient location fi-district, right off BART
-pretty spin room
-large locker room, many showers, towel service
-diverse clientele
CONS:
-small small small yoga room
-gets massively crowded after work, esp the lockers
-no parking
-old equipment, cardio area is very small, upstairs, and facing walls/windows
-not as clean as the other ones
-customer service, front staff unresponsive and pretty negligent, as are sales
Crunch, Embarcadero****
PROS:
-not too crowded,
-very large locker room with locks provided
-good music, clean, towel service
-separate group room
-fairly new, great air-conditioning in the summer
-great view of the bay and passersby while cardio-ing
-people mind their business, no blatant ass-showing offness
-really great sales team, friendly people
CONS:
-weight lifting area awkwardly set up
-not many cute guys
-no spin room, set up own bikes
-not the best energy/motivation level in there
Crunch, Polk Street***:
PROS:
-built within an old theater building, cool interior
-cool spin room, large group/class area
-lots of girlie free weights to use
-no smell=good smell, towel service
-guys are within an attractive age range (25-35), rough around the edges, and totally hot
-downstairs bathroom with easy access
-friendly staff, talkative
CONS:
-small abs area, not enough lifting space
-small locker area, like cramp style
-dark, dim, no music
-distracting movie screen with movies playing
-old lifting equipment
-cardio machines facing movie screen
Crunch, Union Street ***
PROS
-treadmills facing lifting area, eye candy
-clean, great lighting
-towel service, quiet unpretentious people, no massive meatheads
-updated machines
-good yoga classes
-convenient area with better parking
-friendly front desk staff, smoothie shop
CONS
-small locker area, small cardio area
-gets motherfing hot in the summer bc of the sunlight
-douchy trainer
-no areas to really do any free weights or plyometrics
-spin room gets hot as a mo
Crunch, Chestnut****
PROS:
-recently renovated, new machines, better layout and space for plyos, etc
-non-claustrophobic
-decent looking guys
-my favorite sales manager is there
-towel service, lots of cardio machines
-fairly clean
-friendly staff
CONS:
-small locker room
-cardio machines facing tvs and large mirrors
-parking is harder
-no yoga that I know of
Crunch, Montgomery***
PROS:
-huge huge weight lifting area, lots of space to roam
-convenient location fi-district, right off BART
-pretty spin room
-large locker room, many showers, towel service
-diverse clientele
CONS:
-small small small yoga room
-gets massively crowded after work, esp the lockers
-no parking
-old equipment, cardio area is very small, upstairs, and facing walls/windows
-not as clean as the other ones
-customer service, front staff unresponsive and pretty negligent, as are sales
Crunch, Embarcadero****
PROS:
-not too crowded,
-very large locker room with locks provided
-good music, clean, towel service
-separate group room
-fairly new, great air-conditioning in the summer
-great view of the bay and passersby while cardio-ing
-people mind their business, no blatant ass-showing offness
-really great sales team, friendly people
CONS:
-weight lifting area awkwardly set up
-not many cute guys
-no spin room, set up own bikes
-not the best energy/motivation level in there
More so-cal driving tips
Between San Diego/Mexico border to San Fernando Valley, there is no such thing as a slow lane. There is one speed: Fast. Don't expect turn signals or people checking traffic before merging onto the freeway.
While driving on the 5, I noticed cars in the left lane swerving into the other lanes. When I got closer, I realized that cars were swerving to avoid running over a construction ladder laid up in the freeway. It is a miracle that some crazy ass accident didn't occur. I called 911 to report the abandoned ladder and prayed that upcoming left-lane drivers weren't texting/GPSing like some inattentive people I know.
While driving on the 5, I noticed cars in the left lane swerving into the other lanes. When I got closer, I realized that cars were swerving to avoid running over a construction ladder laid up in the freeway. It is a miracle that some crazy ass accident didn't occur. I called 911 to report the abandoned ladder and prayed that upcoming left-lane drivers weren't texting/GPSing like some inattentive people I know.
2009
Looking at the side bar of links, I noticed that 2009 was not a good year for blogging. 10 posts for the entire year. Let's see how 2010 pans out.
I have a joke to tell
So, a Chinese, a Mexican, a Jew, and a Brit walk into a bar--Hold on. Actually, these are the people living in our apartment.
Tuesday, January 12
SD driving
Please take note if you ever plan to walk or drive in downtown San Diego.
1. There are no crosswalks. Be prepared to feel untethered and please walk with caution.
2. No crosswalks means no white lines as visual markers to break before the stoplight. On the second night in SD, I witnessed a guy drive through a red light and get slammed by another car. BAM! Scary.
3. The city planners carved out dips in the cross streets. I think its an implicit message to slow down. If you race through the streets, you will mess up your car's front end. Take note, Ricers!
4. One good note, the streets are easy to follow and maneuver. Sequential numbers and letters are used and I found my level of incompetence navigating in a new city lower than usual. I'm looking at you, San Francisco!!! You make no sense. Took me one year to figure out you out. You're like a commitmentphobic, semi-alcoholic non-sensicle attachment styled man: complicated and frustrating!
1. There are no crosswalks. Be prepared to feel untethered and please walk with caution.
2. No crosswalks means no white lines as visual markers to break before the stoplight. On the second night in SD, I witnessed a guy drive through a red light and get slammed by another car. BAM! Scary.
3. The city planners carved out dips in the cross streets. I think its an implicit message to slow down. If you race through the streets, you will mess up your car's front end. Take note, Ricers!
4. One good note, the streets are easy to follow and maneuver. Sequential numbers and letters are used and I found my level of incompetence navigating in a new city lower than usual. I'm looking at you, San Francisco!!! You make no sense. Took me one year to figure out you out. You're like a commitmentphobic, semi-alcoholic non-sensicle attachment styled man: complicated and frustrating!
TBD
I will post about the interview process and other tidbits as I drive back to SD today. I'm going to milk the rest of my hours at hotel, motel, holiday inn. Check out is at 12.
Gym Blog: Natalie's Rating System
Last night, I had a dream about 24 hour fitness and I yelled at the gym manager about the disgustingness: dirty grimy locker rooms, dusty machines, slimy treadmills, etc. I argued for increased sanitation quality control and budget/hours for cleaning personnel.
Here is my take, thus far, of the gyms in So-Cal: 5 star rating system
24 hour in San Diego**: good hours, big gym, dirty machines, smelly lockers, nasty showers/toilets,and old machines, no amenities, no towels, gross
24 hour in Inglewood*: big weight lifting area, three floors, dusty dirty machines, smelly people, gross bathrooms/no toilet paper, no amenities, no towels, gross
Fit in San Diego****:
-beautiful large, new gym, high-tec equipment not for novices (spent about ten minutes figuring out the treadmill)
-awesome ass view of the ballpark (MLB players pump up my testosterone level),
-hot fit guys, hot fit people
-huge locker room, clean, no need for own lock
-sweet fluffy towels!
-all machines facing window with sun setting (bad for balancing on moving machine as blinding sun distorts vision),
-hot sun does not help body temperature and motivation to sweat
-insane monthly charges
Think Dodgeball Gym
YMCA in San Diego**:
-semi-new cardio machines, great view of downtown streets (can stare at hot bankers on their coffee runs)
-not crowded, unpretentious
-towel service!
-large shower and locker area with hair dyers
-small cardio area, small gym, old building
-old people, old weight lifting equipment
-boring energy/atmosphere
Gold's Gym in Culver City***:
-good monthly rate,
-decent amount of cardio and layout of lifting equipment looks easy to use
-clean bathrooms, clorox smell, and hairdryers
-hot ass puerto rican/italian looking trainer
-iphone friendly machines, charge while you work out and great workout music
-no towel service
-small abs/stretch area
-too many trainers/front desk people
-small ass gym, express version, parking is a bitch and in a shopping center, bad!
In sum, I would go for Gold's Gym for it's reasonable monthly charge and general cleanliness and decent customer service. Stay away from 24 with front desk help who swears ("I'm having a shitty day") and the overall slimy gross feel.
Here is my take, thus far, of the gyms in So-Cal: 5 star rating system
24 hour in San Diego**: good hours, big gym, dirty machines, smelly lockers, nasty showers/toilets,and old machines, no amenities, no towels, gross
24 hour in Inglewood*: big weight lifting area, three floors, dusty dirty machines, smelly people, gross bathrooms/no toilet paper, no amenities, no towels, gross
Fit in San Diego****:
-beautiful large, new gym, high-tec equipment not for novices (spent about ten minutes figuring out the treadmill)
-awesome ass view of the ballpark (MLB players pump up my testosterone level),
-hot fit guys, hot fit people
-huge locker room, clean, no need for own lock
-sweet fluffy towels!
-all machines facing window with sun setting (bad for balancing on moving machine as blinding sun distorts vision),
-hot sun does not help body temperature and motivation to sweat
-insane monthly charges
Think Dodgeball Gym
YMCA in San Diego**:
-semi-new cardio machines, great view of downtown streets (can stare at hot bankers on their coffee runs)
-not crowded, unpretentious
-towel service!
-large shower and locker area with hair dyers
-small cardio area, small gym, old building
-old people, old weight lifting equipment
-boring energy/atmosphere
Gold's Gym in Culver City***:
-good monthly rate,
-decent amount of cardio and layout of lifting equipment looks easy to use
-clean bathrooms, clorox smell, and hairdryers
-hot ass puerto rican/italian looking trainer
-iphone friendly machines, charge while you work out and great workout music
-no towel service
-small abs/stretch area
-too many trainers/front desk people
-small ass gym, express version, parking is a bitch and in a shopping center, bad!
In sum, I would go for Gold's Gym for it's reasonable monthly charge and general cleanliness and decent customer service. Stay away from 24 with front desk help who swears ("I'm having a shitty day") and the overall slimy gross feel.
LA: Movies
During my stay in LA (total 72 hours), the things keeping me stabilized and grounded in LA are movie quotes from Clueless and lyrics from Tupac songs.
I roamed around Inglewood, hitting up the grocery stores and gyms. The line, "Inglewood, up to no good," ran through my head. I knew I was in danger when Tupac sung about it and I was right. I felt eyes hunting my half-naked ass as I shopped in town. I need to cover up even in this LA smog and hot weather.
Wilshire Blvd, the Valley, and the general term, the freeway were mentioned in Clueless. Cher, Tai, and Dionne will always be near and dear to my heart; and my personal LA GPS system.
Addendum: "I left my wallet in El Segundo" and "Cal State Domingo Hills" is an actual school in So-cal. Odes to "Bring it On" and unknown rapper.
I roamed around Inglewood, hitting up the grocery stores and gyms. The line, "Inglewood, up to no good," ran through my head. I knew I was in danger when Tupac sung about it and I was right. I felt eyes hunting my half-naked ass as I shopped in town. I need to cover up even in this LA smog and hot weather.
Wilshire Blvd, the Valley, and the general term, the freeway were mentioned in Clueless. Cher, Tai, and Dionne will always be near and dear to my heart; and my personal LA GPS system.
Addendum: "I left my wallet in El Segundo" and "Cal State Domingo Hills" is an actual school in So-cal. Odes to "Bring it On" and unknown rapper.
pricelining: hotel trix
A three star hotel in ghettoville (LAX/Inglewood area) is about 100 a night. I didn't want to risk my life or shrivel in dirty/unsanitary bed in a one star hotel is book a mediocre hotel on priceline. I put in the minimum amount of cash I was willing to spend and went through the hotel star ranking list: $35 for four, nope; $35 for four and a half, nope; $35 for three, nope; $50 for two and a half, yes! with an upgrade to three star! Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotels are willing to book a room for dirt cheap when you bid the same night because they would rather rent for something rather than get nothing for an empty room. Ghetto student cheapo wayz: priceless!
Oh, they will get you for a $15 dollar a night PARKING. WTF? I would park on the side street, but I would rather spend $15 than come to find, the next morning, an empty parking space and a missing Honda Civic
Oh, they will get you for a $15 dollar a night PARKING. WTF? I would park on the side street, but I would rather spend $15 than come to find, the next morning, an empty parking space and a missing Honda Civic
Monday, January 11
interview travels: camping in so-cal
I would say that I am one of the lamest tourist/travelers. Instead of site seeing, I spend my time in the gym and watching tv in bed. I travel with two big grocery bags full of produce and vegetables, including a knife and cutting board (because you need something to cut the veges). I pack my trunk with a suitcase of clothes and a suitcase of shoes. Instead of lugging the cases with me, from the trunk, I choose my clothes for the day and put them in a carry-all bag, hence, my trunk is a makeshift dresser drawer and shoe closet. Finally, I carry my own comforter and bedding because hotel blankets are WEAK!
Furthermore, I use the AC system as a fridge. I prop the chair against the AC unit and put the perishable groceries on it and crank up the bitch. My yogurt and soydogs are cold and ready to eat at my bidding. I wash the dishes and plastic utensils in the sink, using the face washcloths as dish towels. It's like I'm camping! in a hotel!
Furthermore, I use the AC system as a fridge. I prop the chair against the AC unit and put the perishable groceries on it and crank up the bitch. My yogurt and soydogs are cold and ready to eat at my bidding. I wash the dishes and plastic utensils in the sink, using the face washcloths as dish towels. It's like I'm camping! in a hotel!
Monday, January 4
shutting down
now that i'm closer to the end of my studies and becoming a professional, it's time to delete blog. i have concerns about clients finding old posts before i thought to be more reserved in my postings. it will take me a while to save posts before i delete the thing, so enjoy the archives! :)
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