OMG i love the fucking sopranos. i almost had an orgasm when the dvd came into the mail today. holy shit. and i almost had a conniption not being able to watch the next episode. i dont think this is healthy. it is like a drug... i'm addicted. AHHHHHHHH

my antsy organizing bug is back. i'm off the pillaz so now i have to keep myself busy because i'm very energetic. i've been all apathetic for the past four weeks. back to craziness WOO HOO!

when im' not on crazy pills i want to shop!!!!!!!!!! stop meeeeeeeeeee

damn crazy bitches on the price is right.

okay NOW i'm cranky. i can't get my next fix of fucking sopranos!!!!!!!! AAAAAARRRRGGGGGg
i was fighting with the freaking printer for twenty minutes trying to print my blockbuster coupon for a free movie and couldn't get that fucking hp bastard to work then decided to take a nap instead of watching a dvd....then thought that i should go down to blockbuster and explain the situmation to them.

so i get down there all the while parker pulling like a third grade dogtard for half a mile. get there and they were nice enough to tell me that i can write down the number at the bottom of the barcode and be fine. i pick up the next disc of sopranos six and he rings me up.

he goes, sorry this coupon has already been used!! AAAAHHHHh the rental dude from yesterday said i got a free movie from just signing up and didnt tell me it was the same coupon from the website so damnit!!! i used my freebie for the month and now i'm without a movie and without definite plans for friday night.

i am fine without doing anything tonight and once i make up my mind to sit in front of the television then almost next to nothing can get me out the door. this is quite unlike my college days when i was itching to go out all the damn time. i have to finagle myself to get dressed and be social. damn ED and years of isolation and growing up.

fuck maturity!!! AND I WANT MY SOPRANOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Day Nine:

I WANT food damnit. Seriously, I don't need the food because I'm not physically hungry, but I want different tastes. UGH!!!

I LOVE how i look so i shouldn't complain. I am hot. hahahaha

I do not want to gain weight when I start eating real food again. DA-A-M-NNN. I will be mizad. Um the movements were okay this morning. I think because I ate some syrup at 4am I messed up the empty stomach salt water flush affect. Whatevs.

Anyway, I don't have much to report. I think my tongue is almost back to normal pink. My teeth feel like they're washed away from the acid. I'm in a good mood, my energy level is superb, I aint cranky. I am free of headaches, I"m pretty much doing well.

It's like the less I have to think about food the better I am with life. Hmm...but alas, one has to eat to live. Piece of SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

how much do i love urban dictionary?!?!?!

Salt water flush gross.

Matt Lauer stupid.

I WANNNNNNNNNTTTTTOOOOOOO QQQQQQUUUUUUUUIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT

Day Eight:

I am back to regulario. I feel better today surviving off of lemonade and maple syrup than I did eating food, drinking diet soda, and popping pillz. WOOOOOOO. i don't know how i'm going to start eating again and trying to stave off hunger because I really don't feel hungry on this cleanse. It's so freaking weird.

AHHHH

So last night I so wanted to break the fast. I was THISCLOSE because I wanted the taste of succulent salad. Then I had a dream about food, but I didn't eat any of it in my dream because I was fasting. How HILARIOUS.

I did a mega salt water flush today and boy did that get my system rocking. It was the worst today than it's ever been and it HAS to be the toxins seeing that I haven't eaten solid foods in eight freaking days. OUCHY STOMACH!!!!

Tomorrow will probably be the same type of fun times in the intestinal track because I will do a mega salt water flush plus I aint got no worries at the mo.

Aight off to the sports bar to check out some hotcakes. HAHAHAHAHA yea right. I never met a guy there in my life. and it's my favoritist sports bar in the world. Thank god i like baseball or else it would all be in vain. Holla!

i have adhd. i have to stop a 3 hour movie (the good shepherd) and take a mental break by going on the internet. :X

i want to break the fast so bad like you don't understand yo!

Day Seven:
I feel soo much better like my old self. I am done with school, I don't want to drink all the lemonade for brain strength so thank god. I carried a ton of weight from the store to my car without straining which was nice.

I am pretty much sick of lemonade and ready for food. However, I don't want to get fat so I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

YAY! done with school. woo hoo!!

the white is still on my tongue and I had a 'movement' this morning with no help of a salt water flush or tea because I was so anxious before my test.

So two more days...AHHHHHHH Thank god.

Day Six:
Energy is way back up. I had a dream about food and it was might tasty to eat a Mars bar or whatever they're called. The marshmallow bar. My friends are threatening to shove food down my throat if I don't stop the cleanse. They think because I have a history of ED that I will spin out of control and starve myself to death. They make a good point, but um, momma aint going to change. HOLLA!

So, i'm here studying for my exam and had a nice little movement. nothing as exciting as the first one.

I had to bike to the library and about had a heart attack. I've been walking the dog and jogging a little bit, but nothing like a 50lb backpack to increase the workout. shit. thought I was going to pass out. I wanted to drive, but stanford aint got no parking spaces.

I like the lemonade and was going to go until june 30th. i'm giving it a second thought and am considering stopping on the minimum ten day mark of saturday. i miss me veges and such. ugh and i can't keep hiding from my friends.

aloha.

gdarnit. i want to be working and making money. sitting in bed studying all day makes me feel sad and pathetic.

however, sitting in bed all day in pajamas and playing on the internet is sort of fun.

hmm....

Day Five:
Today my stomach hurts. I think we all know why. The salt water flush is better when i imagine it as chicken broth. gross. I slept okay last night. I wasn't exhausted which was nice. I was actually wide awake before falling asleep which is unusual these days, but I had a good nights sleep.

This morning I felt nauseas and I still feel like I'm going to puke. I have to study so this is going to be fun. I was almost going to break the cleanse last night because I really wanted food. I wasn't hungry or anything, but I wanted food to calm my studying anxiety.

I'm glad I'm on the cleanse during finals because I know I would be stuffing my face and puking which would be a worse alternative than a liquid cleanse.

My friends are about to kill me for not eating. They want to shove food down my throat. I hate whole foods lotion. don't get it. it doesn't do crap. i don't know why i was using it for so long. i better not get wrinkles!

okay that is all.

Day Four:
So yesterday evening I was sooo tired and then i woke up in the middle of the night starving. i had another bottle of the lemonaide mixture and that fixed it right away. i haven't had any "cleansing" activity until this mid morning. and boy was it invigorating.

I'm still tired today, but less lethargic than yesterday. I am a bit sore, which could be from the running at the beach. i am looking forward to the drink because i am putting more maple syrup in there than i was before. gotta check the calories!

i drank tea this morning instead of the salt water flush. thank god bc that salt water thing makes me want to die.

the cayenne pepper, i left out of the mixture and decided just to lick it off my hand before drinking the mix.

my tongue is less white than yesterday so that's a good sign that the toxins are leaving. that is about it. i'm in a pretty good mood, better than yesterday and i'm not craving food today. study time!