i love my manager. my friend suggested that i love him because of some weird attachment issue. this could be true. my parental figures were not around during my teenage years and i had issues of being abandoned because my mother left the house when I was fifteen. I basically raised myself from age 15 on.

Now, i like the manager because one, he is cute. two, because i know where he will be and what he is doing most of the time. i know where to find him and what to expect when i arrive at the store. i can see on the schedule when he will be in and when he is leaving. there is no uncertainty of his behavior. i am also not afraid that i will never see him again. and three, he is tall and cute.

that is all.

so guess who decided to rear his pothead after three months of avoidance slash hibernation? manager's brother. manager needed his help at the store yesterday and i sauntered in to help out for an hour and was smacked in the head by his appearance. thank god i looked good and healthy. on the otherhand, pothead was looking cute but pale, skinny, and shitty. he also hates his new job and sounds miserable. i had only one fleeting fond thought about him while i was there, which was nice because i hate being a puppy in love.

i had a dream about manager the other night. scary because i don't need that. please. remember, i labeled him douchebag back in the day and first impressions are usually correct. maybe i like potheads, douchebags, and baseball players. how do i add normal guys on this list?

here's a tip for yall. look at the phone before picking up. the online guy hadn't heard from me since his last email two weeks ago asking to go on a date. i thought that ignoring him would work and he would get "the idea," but apparently his "the idea" was to do a phone check-in. i had no choice but to talk with him because silly ole' me answered the phone without screening, for the first time since the advent of caller id. 34awq <---parker's input on the blog. anyway, i told him i was on spring break and was sick. that gives me about another two weeks to lose weight and get in contact with him again. i am considering meeting him because he didn't give me grief about not emailing him back or asking why i haven't called him. that's a good sign of sanity.

i think i should go on a date to get blog material.

creative juices are on vacation.
online guy im trying to ignore has come back with a vengeance.
other guy is being friendly. too bad i'm not attracted to him.
still love manager. sort of. not really doing it for me as much.
brother of manager is non-existent.

almost know city.
trying darndest to move.
homeless feed doggy grapes.
weezer. good band.
98 degrees. fun boyband.

working on mondays better than having class.
someone else needs to get married to diffuse the situation.
getting closer to 30 more significant.
still looking 18. good.

ww meeting in the morning. nervous for weigh in.
like being skinnier one in group.
raw asparagus gross.

old school christianity has too much guilt and shame involved.
church of nat reinstated.
alcohol consumption reinstated.
celibacy remains.
upper respiratory infection lingers.
long poem ending.
end.