Out of town till March 1. Peace out suckas!

I feel like complete ass today. I'm talking about hangover, plus nausea, plus the jimmy shakes and a fever. It could have been the not fully cooked Tilapia I ate last night or that I was galavanting around town with Cameron at 9pm.

Grandma needs her sleep. It doesn't help that I also need "decompressing" time that includes watching tv, roaming the internet, and painting my nails. Such activities can last up to two hours, which means I didn't sleep till 11pm. People, I'm in bed by 8pm, read a bit and head off to Sandman Land by 9.

Not to add to my nausea, but let's discuss about my motion sickness. The Tea Cups at the State Fair make me physically ill. One year, I actually threw up after the lil kiddie ride and I was sixteen. Tomorrow begins my whirlwind tour of the US. First NY then Cali all in a week and a half.

I feel bad for the poor bastards that will be sitting next to me on the plane. They best be wearing ponchos.

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PS. If you want postcards, email me your snailmail addy!

Is it wrong to hook up with an 18 year-old pool boy at the country club in which you work? I just got a bartending job dishing out gin and tonics to anorexic wives with children and neglecting husbands. I'm imagining that a young hot piece of tanned ass will be the lifeguard and I would take his innocence.

Is such things frowned upon at the workplace? I mean, he's legal, I'm legal. I didn't read anything in the employee handbook about fraternizing with co-workers.

I shall fake a drowning and force him to make out with me.

I bought the neatest pair of rain boots the other day. Now, I haven't owned a pair since I was four year old romping around in the sandbox. There's something about rainboots that makes any kid and adult smile. Is it the rubberness, the lunking sound it makes, or the shiny color? I say it's all three.

The trouble comes when putting on such boots. Do you wear socks? Thick ones or thin ones? Am I supposed to bring an extra pair of footwear with me? Do you tuck it inside your pants? Outside your jeans? This seems like a huge ordeal.

When I was a kid, I wore sneakers inside my blue rainboots. Currently, I wear the biggest shoe size so there's no feasible way to don street kicks inside my Nine West booties. Think sasquatch.

Rainboots should come with its own a handbook. "Rainboots: How Not to Look Like an Idiot while Preventing Water from Soaking Your Socks. Extra Instructions on How Not to Look Like a Fisherman, Rap Star or Britney on Drugs."

Girl, please get help with that coke addiction. Take dance lessons. I'll pay for couple of sessions. Just please stay away from my favorite bar until you get yourself together. I can't drink my cosmos like a normal person if I'm constantly laughing at your ass and choking on my liquor.

I have to prepare for my graduate school interviews. I made a list of ten questions with two types of answers: bullshit and the truth. Let's go through a few.

1. Why do you want to go to this school?

BS: Your program has a lot to offer students that are interested in researching innovative ideas. I see from your publications that your school emphasizes reliable research. You only accept the brightest and motivated students--I am one of them.

Truth: No other schools have accepted me. The tuition here is way cheaper than a private school and I like New York.


2. What are your greatest strenghts?

BS: I am a goal oriented person. When I set my mind on achieving something, I don't stop until it's done. Advisors informed me that it would be hard to get back into student mode if I didn't go straight to graduate school, but as you can see, I made sure I stayed on track even while I worked a full time job. I made sure to work in a field similar to my graduate school interests.

Truth: I am efficient at shopping in stores. I can paint, sew, and cook a mean meal. I throw fabulous cocktail parties and can win at any Flaming Dr. Pepper race. Also, I'm a fashionista.

3. What is your greatest weakness?

BS: I tend to take criticism personally. However, it only makes me try harder and to excel at what they first thought was inadequate.

Truth: Tall men with dark-hair and broad shoulders. Shoes and handbags.

4. What do you currently do at your job?

BS: I coordinate research and help faculty and PhDs conduct research. I manage a lab, recruit participants, and communicate with several venues. Over the past year, I've reruited over 3,000 participants and administer several computer applications. I hire assisants and oversee the lab's budget.

Truth: Talk on AIM, post blog entries, and pay bills.

5. What do you wish to do with your PhD degree?

BS: I would like to enter into privatized care or work in a hospital setting. I am very comfortable working with young adults and young professionals, since I currently work in that type of environment. I envision myself as a psychologist at a university or local hospital. I want to reach a large population and be available to as many people as possible. I know it's hard for college students to feel at home and find a niche. I want to offer them my assistance and make them feel as if they have a confidant within the masses.

Truth: I want to be a psychologist to the stars, live in a big mansion and charge clients mad crazy sums.

I currently don the Farrah Fawcett hair with a trendy twist. It's totally cute. What is not cute is when you're driving to your girlfriend's house and thinking you're hot as you check yourself out in the mirror, but by chance glance at the guy in the car next to you who happens to have the same hair-do. Such a look on guys in the south is commonly known as the "frat-hair."

Do us a favor, prentitious asses, leave the flip out look to females, unless you desire to wear a red bathing suit and have other males oogle your goodies on posters.