i want a back massage, but therez nobody who can give me one. damnit!

I created this list a year ago. That means I have about two more years to get this crap done! :P I'm on my way, baby.

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Because I am bored, I am copyingthis guy's.

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).


1. visit California
2. go to graduate school
3. adopt a dog from those pet societies (for at least a week)
4. try ecstacy and make it work
5. hug a Wal-Mart employee
6. drink a milkshake from Cook-Out!
7. travel afar to meet someone from the internet
8. visit Hawaii
9. visit my dad in Winston-Salem and actually stay there overnight
10. learn three long-winded sentences in Mandarin
11. not make fun of my brother's chin pubes
12. wake up on a Monday and not want to murder someone
13. fly a kite
14. meet a celebrity and totally shun him/her
15. feel guilty for shunning a celebrity and ask for autograph and/or pic
16. paint another portrait
17. bring Cameron a housewarming gift
18. befriend a marijuana drug dealer
19. pass by someone wearing tapered pants and say hi
20. bartend
21. run 5K in under 28 minutes
22. eat a chocolate covered bug
23. do a cartwheel in a museum
24. kiss a homeless man on the lips
25. swim in a lake EWWW
26. have sexuals in the movie theaters
27. snowboard
28. learn how to kill someone in just one move
29. watch an entire Bruce Lee movie without falling asleep
30. watch Matrix 3 for the second time
31. not poop for one day
32. tell someone fat that they need to lose weight
33. tell someone skinny that they need to lose weight
34. drink 1/3 a bottle of tobasco sauce
35. work a full 8 day for one week
36. hold a two minute conversation with heebijeebie neighbor
37. invite neighbor for drinks
38. go on a date with someone I meet from the grocery store
39. not read any gossip columns (paper or online) for a 7 days straight
40. be vegan again for a month
41. treat my aunt for dinner
42. treat my dad to lunch two times in a row
43. win at least $5 on the lottery
44. learn how to play poker
45. take a pic sitting on Santa's lap
46. tickle a mall cop
47. fart really loud in a bookstore and pretend nothing happened
48. smoke an entire cigarrette
49. get Parker drunk
50. sing "Here I go Again" at a Kareoke bar
51. dance on the PBs bar
52. strip at Amatuer Night
53. make out with a girl
54. go on a date with a software developer
55. take a tree stick, poke it through a biker's wheel and make him fall
56. not get nervous during a presentation
57. use the AC in the car for the whole entire ride to Raleigh without turning it down/off
58. not watch DVDs for a week
59. not touch a computer for a week
60. get engaged to a hot guy (compliments of Sarah)
61.buy a usb key
62. learn metric table
63. do a headstand for 60 seconds
64. treat myself to the spa
65. wear bottlecap glasses to the bar
66. go to dinner with Cass (my bros exgf)
67. have an entire IM convo with NO TYPOS (at work, 5 hrs or more!)
68. sit through an entire movie in a real movie theater and not pee
69. do that fishingline/catching a fish dance with a stranger at the club-bar
70. give someone a ride and not worry about gas tank
71. go on a date with an active member of the military
72. subscribe to cable tv
73. be curse-free for three days
74. drink only water for a week
75. pass by a dog and look at the owner, not just the dog
76. eat a McDonald Happy Meal
77. at the car toll booth, pay for the dude behind me
78. not mention to Cameron about my "back pains" and menstrual cycle for two months
79. call my grandparents every weekend for a month
80. dry myself completely before putting on lotion for a week
81. smack a hot guy's ass (must be complete stranger and not at a bar)
82. touch a girl's nipples (must not know her beforehand)
83. pee in the snow
84. visit Vegas
85. wash car once a week for a month
86. do the tango in a public restroom
87. play at a kids playground (hopscotch, jumprope, the works)
88. have a BBQ or picnic on top of a New York City building's rooftop
89. say hi and make eyecontact with all the gross ugly guys that say hi to me for one day
91. successfully sprout beans
92. send one care package every three months
93. make out with an 18 year old
94. style hair for an entire week
95. do the Carlton on the streets asking for change from passersby, cup to hold money
96. read a new book a month for a year (at least 200 pages)
97. kiss a frog on the lips
98. grab a guy's crotch (didn't know him beforehand)
99. pick up my doggie's poop for a week
100. swing on one of those lake tire swings
101. use a sewing machine and make something useful

Is it true that when you study, you have to eat more because of the amount of glucose the brain needs to synapse? My classmates are constantly eating and snacking and I'm perpetually hungry when I study.

I fucked up my metabolism and hunger signals back in my college days when I was anorexo, so I can't tell whether I'm avoiding studying by eating or I'm really hungry. I'm sitting at the library snacking on broccoli. :X

Everyday I come into class with wet hair. My outfit is perfect, but my hair is dripping wet from showering in the morning.

My classmates probably think I live in a fish tank.

The nastiest man rubbed himself all over my dog. Just because I tied my dog to the lamppost for 2 minutes to get a drink at the local snack shop, it doesn't mean that you can smother your stinky body on him.

Now Parker smells like cigarettes and Old Spice.

I feel horrible ignoring "boy" these past couple of days. I had a mini crush on a fellow in Palo and now I'm over this mini crush. Mini crushes such as this occur only during the weekends and when alcohol is involved. It ain't right that I ignore "boy" on days when I am too busy or emotionally involved with someone else, and call him when I'm freaking out about school and need him to calm me down.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I hate feeling inadequate or stupid. Being in graduate school means I amongst pretty smart and pretty well-organized individuals. How the hell am I supposed to distinguish myself from the clan? I'm going to start ending every sentence with "Mmkay?"

I don't find the majority of females humorous nor do I like to study with them. Why is this? I am a woman myself. They annoy the crap out of me when I try to study. When I study with boys, no one talks or make random comments. We all sit together with our headphones and chill.

There's only a few hilarious girls out there, but why is this?! I WANT TO KNOW because I can't only have boy friends.

Yes, I will admit, I am very talkative and I don't shut up on most occasions, but when I study, (nowadays, not my UNC-days), I am tight-lipped. I feel bad because girls shoud stick together..or something.

Five things I plan to do before I die:
1. learn how to snowboard
2. have an orgasm via intercourse
3. eat an entire cheese steak, fries, and a milkshake without freaking out
4. meet a celebrity and slap him in the face
5. accumulate some sort of "life savings"

Five things I can do:
1. eat bland food for every meal
2. finish Harry Potters in one day
3. drink Absolut out of the bottle without a chaser
4. make an entire theater audience laugh at unfunny parts of a movie
5. dance the Carlton in public

Five Things I can’t do:
1. a headstand
2. curl my tongue
3. like olives
4. stay quiet for more than 10 minutes
5. sleepover at someone else's house


Five Things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. nice shoes
2. nice hair
3. sarcastic humor, witty humor, any humor
4. nice face
5. rhythm

Five Things that I say a lot:
1. um
2. like
3. whatever
4. ew
5. fucker


The rules:
When you post your “Five Things” take the top name/link off the list of five below and add your blogname/link at the bottom spot.

Dirty G's

I have never in my life missed the smell of a mall. I finally got the chance to go shopping today for a pair of sneakers and I thought I was going to have an orgasm at Bloomingdales.