now that i've been back on the starvation caffiene wagon, i'm back to hating life and wondering what my life is all about. i know i wont go as crazy as i did last time because my social network is really good. i just want to suck all the fat out and i'm totally mad i let myself gain weight in the first place. blah. i just get so confused and irritable when i'm hungry...however i hate being fat too. BLAH!

i'm so sad and lonely. :( and i keep dreaming about work. things are terrible. too much school work and i basically have 12 hour days now :( i am fat and boys are retarded. i feel like i'm getting no where and i am in huge financial debt because of school. i am having a pity festival. thank you.