I am currently without three wisdom teeth, but have possession of a whole bottle of demerol. When drug companies demand patients not to drink alcohol while on the medication, they're basically telling customers that they'll save a lot of money by taking the drug before going to the bar.

I've been living in my apartment complex for over seven months and only know one neighbor. After getting Parker Valentino, my new puppy, I've met everyone in my building. Is it sad that I'm living a life through a canine?

Absolut Insanity is currently on hiatus until Natalie has more than three hours of sleep and twenty minutes of ass-on-seat time.

The reason why I haven't posted a blog in a while is because I got a new puppy.

I feel like I got pregnant, shot out a baby, and entered single motherhood.

Why is it so damn difficult to name a dog?

Never had I ever conquered a tube of chocolate cookie dough until this past weekend.

I'm not a big fan of sweets, but after years of restrictive eating, my taste buds crave refined sugars. It's only late at night when inhibitions are too tired to rear their ugly heads, do I succumb to the sirens of the forbidden snack cabinet. Eating late at night is like having a one night stand. It feels good at the time, but by morning, all you're left with is a bad taste in your mouth, stomach pains, and cookie dough crumbs all over the floor.