How am I going to tell someone who I don't want to see anymore, that I don't want to date him? I mean, usually, I just ignore the phone calls or say I have other plans, but I'm 24 now, and I have to be more grown up. Maybe I should ask him if he has any cute friends. He'll get the idea then.

Tell me why someone who wants to date me can call me from New York, but someone I am supposedly dating who lives forty feet away can't call me within a week?

Tip of the Day: Do not order fish rare at a non-sushi restaurant or else you'll be puking your intestinal tract out for a good portion of the night.

I went to Carraba's last night with my dad and made the unfortunate mistake of ordering salmon "as rare as possible." The good thing about it was I only ate one bite before asking for a to-go box. I was hungry when I got home and start munching away on the delectable dinner when all of the sudden my stomach did a 180 and I hurled into the bathroom for a good two hour barf fest.

I shall stay away from all seafood for a while. Damn, that means I won't be hooking up with any of my girlfriends anytime soon.

I should never be allowed to wear white clothing. I, apparently, cannot walk, drink coffee, and wear a white shirt without creating a mess. I spilled dark coffee on my shirt and walked around with a wet spot for five minutes. Then two blocks later, I spilled more coffee on myself.

Freaking kids riding the small white bus can drink juice boxes without spilling shit on themselves. Why can't I?!

I feel like a freaking rabbit. AHHHH!!!

Evidently, my 7:30pm is not the same as another's 7:30pm. Are we living in two seperate worlds here? Is he not on prime-meridian time? I am getting really hungry and pissed.

Are you wondering why my posts have been so sucky lately? I have one word for you: liquor.

That shit will stunt brain growth and imagination. My diet, in the past week, consisted of gin, vodka, club soda, Diet Coke, and a few pieces of chicken. I like how I fit into my clothes, but my liver hurts just a tinge. I have two livers, right?

I am sick of seeing those white trash whores of Desperate Housewives. If I wanted to gawk at skinny ass white bitches in half naked clothing, I would go into work at the country club. I don't need to see them splattered on all the magazines at the store.