Why am I having the biggest aversion to the ex? I want to hurl when I think about seeing him. But Why? Okay, so he's not the best looking kid on the block, but he isn't hideous. I think it's guilt. I'm thinking he's still not over me and pining about me and wishing things were different.

I feel bad because I knew it wouldn't work out between us because I wanted something different and I knew he wouldn't be able to provide that for me. I love cute boys and he never did it for me. I feel HORRIBLE. I can't face him because it makes me feel like a bad person to make someone feel sad. Ugh. It's so gross.

i'm afraid of stds.

The new type of relationship out there is the Textionship. Remember back in eighth grade when you were dating and the relationship consisted of only phone calls? Well, now most people are dating via text messages. Who has the time to hold a conversation nor let alone want to talk on the phone for more than three minutes? I don't. Boy has OCD and ADHD so he doesn't have time to hang out during the weekdays (not surprising to me seeing that I knew this beforehand and I used to be really OCD before the happy drugs came back into town). So, we revert to texting on the weekdays Is this healthy? Who the hell knows. Is it better than the AIMship? Possibly, because one can travel with the phone and not the computer. So onward and upward with textionship.

oh update. me and boy are still hanging out. haha