The following people should be stoned with stones covered in glass.

1. Co-workers that send emails with VCF attachments. I don't need to view your contact information. You already listed your phone, fax, cell, email, website, and AIM info in the email, you psychotic freak in need of attention.

2. People who feel the need to create meetings for no real purpose. You've only been here for seven months. Who made you head honcho and gave you wings to assign meetings. No one wants to hear your voice, sit in the same room with you, or give up AIM time for a "discussion".

3. Drivers who slow down before approaching a green traffic light. You ass, green means go, not slow down, you stupid whore. Did you sleep with the DMVer to get a license? Lose some weight and walk to work. Your fatass needs the exercise.

4. Web designers who can't design.

5. Desktop clutterers who believe that shortcut icons are God's gift to mankind. Delete them, you idiotic bastard. The purpose of shortcuts is to find what you need fast, not as a way to decorate the screen.

6. "On Hold Music" administrators. Let's turn down the volume a couple of knotches. We're not deaf and stupid. If you play Kelly Clarkson one more time, I'm going to shove this phone receiver down your throat.

Parker yanked so hard on his leash and collar that I fell upon a thorny bush. It wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't wearing a skirt.

I got thorns in my ass!

Here, Natalie is checking out the masonry work at a parking deck on her 23rd birthday.

I'm uber-stressed about my interviews. What the hell am I going to talk about? I want to learn how to be a psychologist so I can rake in the dough counseling spoiled rotten movie stars?

Why do men choose to wear hiking boots in 70 degree weather and tapered jeans? Excuse me, who died and made you Rob Lowe pre-sextape expose?

Apparently, UCSB has rejected me as a future PhD student due to "late GRE scores." Excuse me, but every other school received the doc from ETS on time and I'm sure ya'll did too. Maybe, you, like many schools whom I've called about my application, misplaced my scores. It happens because the admissions department has five hundred apps coming in and out of their office and undergraduate assistants tend to be careless. Let's not forget to mention the half-drunk employees who don't care about Applicant #4215 from "I dont know what city that is because it's not in California."

Those little fucks. I got one word


(Thanks Justin).