This is the first and last time I play DD with someone else's car because all I end up doing is arguing with the drunkass car owner about how he can drive and how I am a dumbass.

Okay, asshole. You're the one who's making drunk dials saying "I AM SO WASTED RIGHT NOW," but yelling at me, the sober one, about how you should be able to drive your own car and that I am scaring you with my driving skills.

Not fun being put down while trying to save BOTH of our lives.

I AM FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I HAVENT FOUND A PLACE TO LIVE YET AND I AM MOVING IN A MONTH AND ONE WEEK.

You can tell that I like you like a boyfriend if:

1. I will sit in a car for 4-7 hours to see a band I have never heard of nor do I care about.
2. Hang out with your parents and look forward to their arrival
3. Sit in the 95 degree humid weather and tan my ass looking half-black half Hawaiian just to spend time with you
4. Watch an episode of the most horrific show invented, Friends
5. Mention nothing about my disdain for ugly people
6. Not burp
7. Eat carby foods as not to look super picky
8. Sit with perfect posture
9. Have my hair done and never in a pony tail
10. Make no show of my interest in other cute men in the room
11. Tell stories that do not include my guy friends
12. Neglect my dog
13. Start listening to the same music and gush about my love for shitty bands
14. Wear make-up 24-7
15. Redo my voicemail greeting
16. Forget to eat
17. Can't concentrate
18. Lose all interest in TV and DVDs
19. Organize the closet, clean the apt in case of a surprise sleepover
20. Hide all evidence of guy friends
21. Speak nothing about my move to California
22. Do my nails every day
23. Drink with every meal
24. Laugh at dumb jokes
25. Buy candy 'just because'
26. Refer you by your real name

Quote of the day:

I hate when people say, "Have a good day at work."

No. Of course not. Is there such a thing? A "good day at work" is when you get to work and see that the office has burned down, and they tell you that you'll still be paid even though you can't work until things are rebuilt. That's a good day at work. -Maggie

I don't like you like a boyfriend if I rather do the following things instead of hanging out:

1. my nails
2. fill out financial aid packets
3. walk the dog
4. do laundry
5. babysit my little second cousin
6. pack for moving
7. read
8. eat
9. sleep
10. write a blog entry
11. watch a movie
12. pay bills
13. do yoga
14. volunteer
15. help the homeless
16. visit my father in Winston Salem
17. hang out in Durham

ANNOUNCMENT!!!! My only main goal this week is to nail down an aparment in California. ..and to throw the shit that's laying around on my deck.

I need to make a list of relationship deal breakers so that in the future, I will know when I'm holding on to dead weight and to let go...STAT!

1. Knows nothing about computers. Thinks Microsoft is Gate's gift to mankind.
2. Tells really really bad jokes, dry humor.
3. Can only get enjoyment out of life by making fun of others.
4. Does not get Will Ferrell.
5. Does not like dogs.
6. Has a jaded view on marriage and children. It's okay if the person doesn't want to get married or have children...he just can't be embittered or disgusted by the idea of others wanting to. P.S. I could care less about having children :X
7. Does not laugh at two out of the following: Sponge Bob, Arrested Development, Seinfeld, or Billy Madison.
8. Has bad hygiene, like doesn't brush teeth or shower DAILY. This isn't a relationship breaker, this is a second date breaker.
9. Has horrible social etiquette or disturbing eating behavior.
10. Does not use some sort of online instant messaging system.

There are many superficial relationship deal breakers, but if I were to list them all, I wouldn't be done until tomorrow and this birdie's got to sleep!

If you ever hear or see me dating anyone who breaks the above ten commandments, I give you permission to slap me and throw me in a pool of KY Jelly and force me to fight another girl.