apparently, nobody cares about my psychological demise. i am here slowly decompensating, grieving the loss of my year-long textionship with dreamlover, and everyone is being happy go-jolly with their zoology partners, frolicking in ocean-side exotic locales. is exotic synonymous with ocean-side?

my aunt sent me a verizon phone...i don't think she got the memo that i switched carriers. oh wait. aunt just called. she was like, "i didn't send you a phone. open up the package." hahahahhaahah she wrapped a gift in the phone box with a check for money. wow i feel smart. glad i have that master's degree to make me feel special.

slowly dying. help. :(

i used to put a lot of effort into this blog. what the hell happened? damn you grad school for depleting me of my most valuable resources!!!

.i was sexually molested today by a biker. He came by me on his bike and put his hand on my butt and wanted to dig into my butt crack. I wanted to kill him. This was 715am. Instead I reported it to the police..because I couldn't find him while driving in my car.. you know that bastard would have gotten run over.

Go North Carolina making it on CNN! http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/3025668/

my first California friend suggested that I write a book because I am funny. Hmm..all my friends in NC told me to write a book long time ago. Maybe I am funny. I have several years of material chronicled in this blog. Too bad I burned all my journals from 5th to the second year of grad school. That's a good 600 pages of raw, uninhibited, original material, most of which contains, "I LOVE..." and "I HATE...." I'm sure I can recall who I've loved and hated in the past 17 years.

so depressed that i've opted to start reading books again. finished one that i started last night. reading an amy tan book tonight. i dont want this to be a summer of 43 books again. that was depressing.

no will to live.

officially depressed and playing with mind sweeper. refusing to see the light of day. :(

Currently in Bargaining phase. I promise that I won't talk to him or be nice to him if he tries to get back together with me ....of if he emails or calls or if i run into him. Promise I will be strong.. HAHAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAA

poohead

More than anything, I feel like I'm just anxious about this date tonight. This is practically a blind date because the picture the dude sent is not representative of his real image.

okay I think I'm almost over it. Maybe I am going through the stages of grief. I was in Denial. Now, Anger. Next is Bargaining, Depression, and then Acceptance. I feel like I already went through Depression and Bargaining. Depression during Thanksgiving and Christmas. Bargaining, which I have been doing since day 45 of this relationship. I want Acceptance next. Hmm..maybe right now I'm Bargaining, trying to argue that I already went through the stages and that I don't need to grieve anymore. Shit.

I HATE HIM SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. I hope i never see him again bc i would punch him in the face. and then he wouldn't do anything because he would keep being the nice guy. piece of shit. i hate him. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh. what's the point in getting mad at him? ugh. piece of shit doucheshithole. hahaa